This is Australia, where not so very long ago the definition of foreplay was "Eh, are you awake?", and drugs were the aspirin Mum packed with the school lunches in case the kids got a headache during maths. However, the "hi-tech/multi-media/age-of-the-escapist-individual" phenomenon has now decisively arrived, and entrenched itself. It is not quite true to say that anything goes, yet with a bit of persistence, pluck, and/or discretion there is very little in the way of vice or stimulation that cannot be made available, even in our semi-isolated paradise of Far North Queensland. The year 2000 will see the introduction here of legalised 'boutique' brothels, Hep C is already rife and rampant, local authorities are now struggling to keep the lucrative stripper industry controlled and "civilised", and the isolated, unpopulated reality of the surrounding wildernesses can never be effectively policed. For the regular R&R tourist, none of this will be a matter of any concern. As with any tourist mecca in the world, those who choose to go looking, will find, but unlike many destinations, there are no manic street-corner-drug-pushers, nor a blatant-red-light-district and the ratio of police to per head of population is high enough to ensure that our little piece of paradise remains peaceful enough to accomodate the comfort zone of even the most sensitive visitor. Yet, if you're still reading, we presume you're interested in at least some of the above mentioned, and below are some pointers and advice especially for you. STRIPPERS: - Cairns has two established stripper/ lap dancer/ private dancer clubs, both of which are well advertised in the local media. Several local pubs have regular 'topless raffles', and occasional strip shows. The raunchier of the latter are not advertised, so you'll have to get to know some local yokels to get an invite. PROSTITUTES: - As in most places, a quick perusal of the classifieds in the local print media will inform you of the basic escort services locally available. You may find they've been moved to a different column since last you were here, a curious phenomenon that occurs Australia wide. Males and females of most persuasions are currently catered for. S&M, B&D: - Though not extensively advertised, there are regular get-togethers around town. A visit to one of the local sex shops will probably find you a contact. SWINGERS: - Extensive research tells us that this is a well patronised recreational past-time Australia wide, and Cairns now has an openly advertised swingers' 'night club' which operates weekend nights. Again, a visit to one of the sex shops will get you in contact with a lot more. GAY~LESBIAN~BI~TRANSGENDER: FNQ is becoming well-known as a mecca for the gay tourist, with much intensive and extensive marketing now bearing fruit. There are gay resorts, gay bars, gay clubs, gay bushwalking groups etc, and several gay support groups now openly established. SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES: Unfortunately, Australia, like the rest of the globe, is not free from STDs such as AIDS, herpes, Hep B, Hep C, gonorhoea or syphilis. All blood in Australia is screened, so you are not at risk from a blood transfusion. The golden rule, as with anywhere in the world, is to practise safe sex and use condoms. Cairns Base Hospital has a sexually-transmitted diseases clinic.